Learn something today.
Woke up this morning to tyy's text messages asking if I've read the blog of an aquaintance of ours (let's call her A) lately. Told her no, and she told me to go check her recent entries out. Went to A's page and apart from a couple of scandalous self shots found nothing worthy of my attention. Scrolled a little further and lo and behold! there, on the page was an old photo of her and my boyfriend, along with a badly written prose on how much things have changed and (sob) who knows why and what has happened or (sob) how they even happened to change their friendship. (let me put in another sob here for dramatic effect) (sob!)And even though I made up my mind to not be a bitch about this, the episode made such a profound impact on the direction of my wandering thoughts this morning that I decided that I am going to dedicate an entry to the topic of the naivety of girls (me included.)
You do not sleep with someone and expect everything to be the same after the act. Maybe you were caught up in the moment, or maybe you did it only to satisfy the other person (because for some reason you're really altruistic about sharing your tremendous bosom and whats between your legs,) or maybe you got pressured into doing it; whatever the case, you never get romantically involved with a friend and expect everything to turn out normal the next day. Because somewhere along the grabbing and thrusting and heavy panting, the terrific, wondrous, magical moments you guys must have shared as friends will turn into dust, and you will, inevitably, be reduced to nothing but a tool for sexual pleasure. Because that is what happens when you are not careful to keep your pants on.
And later when you wonder if there was ever anything, you will make the mistake of convincing yourself that either (a) there was something, and write a beautiful story in your head about how the both of you must, like in movies, secretly hold a torch for each other, but because of society and all the bullshit you can think up, you can never openly express your feelings, or that (b) you can go back to normal, and be friends again, because there was nothing and it was a mistake, and people make mistakes. your friendship is worth so much more than the mistakes you guys made.
Truth is, scenarios (a) and (b) only happen in YouTube videos and movies a la The Notebook. Or if you are dating a 13 year old. Or if you are just unbelievably lucky, which is hardly ever the case.
So think, because the quote "Never regret anything, because at one point you wanted it" does not always apply. And as much as I empathize with all the girls out there (A included,) I would like to advise anyone whos stuck in a rut like this, to wake up and maybe, if it helps, watch He's just not that into you 5 (or 50) times to get the fucking point. If you ever go back to being friends again, good for you, because I know that with time comes a convenient selective amnesia. But if not, stop making it known that you've been thinking about the act, or your friendship, or that you are even capable of feeling, because it is not going to change anything. Except maybe seriously annoy someone's girlfriend. Either ways you will still be the #loser.
Disclaimer: In case my writing is so bad that you cannot help but misread this entry, I did not get cheated on thanks. And yes, Bervin and I are still very attached.
Labels: KEEP
